Ask for What You Need: When a Board Member Hasn’t Met the Give/Get
Tell me if this scenario sounds at all familiar.
You have a lovely board member. This person is engaged, passionate about your organization’s work, a delight in meetings, great with ideas, etc., etc. And yet…they haven’t made a direct financial contribution nor have they recruited donations from their (rather substantial) network of affluent friends and colleagues.
What’s worse: you’re not at all sure they’ve even internalized that the so-called give/get is part of their responsibility as a board member. Some might say, in fact, it is the most important part of the position.
This is a moment we all uniformly hate to find ourselves in.
It touches on the hottest of hot buttons:
Asking for money (always awkward)
Potential class differences with you, an average nonprofit executive, keenly aware of their indisputable affluence (awkward times two)
Demanding accountability (ugh)
And yet, just as a board member has their role to play, so do you. This part of it can be uncomfortable.
It is also necessary. You have a fiduciary responsibility to your mission and the give/get a board member can deliver is key.
So here’s what you do.
Get curious
Don’t approach the board member with blame and shame. Ask what might be holding them back (because nearly every obstacle and objection can be overcome).
Is it personal discomfort asking others for donations? Easy—you can coach them to make it feel more natural. Is it that their funds have been otherwise committed? No problem. Perhaps they can expand their donor list. Whatever the case may be, listen with an open mind and offer collaboration and coaching—not disappointment and recriminations.
Ask for what you need
In marriage counseling, partners are often encouraged to say what they need out loud. Why? Because a spouse isn’t a mind reader. Board members are the same! They’re busy, they’re human, and sometimes they forget, they don’t prioritize it, or they simply don’t know what’s needed from them.
Please just ask. Do it politely. Do it clearly. But don’t let the opportunity to clearly state what’s needed pass you by. Your board member is there to help. Give them the chance to do so.
Make it easier for your board member
Removing friction is the number-one way to facilitate a more reliable give/get. You have to make it as easy as possible for board members to approach their networks. Give them a script for calls. A template email they can customize to sound personal is helpful. A simple but memorable one- or two-line elevator pitch makes it easy to sum up your organization’s ‘why.’
Practice makes perfect
Offer to role play conversations with your board member. You can do this in two ways. First, practice an approach that will work for the majority of people they’d ask personally. Second, if a potential donor is unique in some way, you may want to help tailor an ask to feel very attuned to that person’s values, personality, and background.
Look for ways they can play host
Often the best way to tell is to show. Look for opportunities where your board member can engage their network in a way that feels a bit more organic. Upcoming events are opportunities for a board member to function as a de facto host, introducing you and your team to donors and showcasing the organization at its most compelling. One nonprofit I love has an extremely well-executed annual lunch, which showcases their clients’ stories in a powerful, but not saccharine, video. Best of all, they have a client share her story in person. It’s incredibly compelling and there’s never a dry eye in the place.
If you have an interesting volunteer opportunity or can offer smaller, more intimate ways for your board member and a prospective donor to engage, use these as natural springboards to building productive relationships. Work with what you have. If you’re a performing arts organization, ask your board member to bring a few select guests for a meet-and-greet with members of the cast or orchestra. Take them to see a matinee and then share how the organization’s reach extends far beyond the stage. If you work with animals, a private opportunity to go behind the scenes and meet a creature can be extraordinary.
Project confidence
Remember: you don’t have to feel nervous about asking a board member to perform standard duties. Speaking as a board member, we’re glad to do them—just help us know what you need by setting clear expectations and we’ll be there for you. As a plus, working together on give/gets lets us get to know you as a leader and feel even more plugged in and connected with the organization.
In turn, that mission awareness and intimacy just makes us want to pitch in even more.
So, please, talk to your board members today. We’ll be glad you did—and so will you.